What Does The Bible Say About Divorce?

Here are some of the questions I’ve received.

Name: Hope Ross-Ellis
Question: I have been married 5 times. A Pastor told me I am supposed to repent and do my first works over. By divorcing my now husband and living without a husband or getting back with my first husband. I can’t go back to my first husband if I don’t know what his life is like. How do I get back in good standing with God from all of this?

and

Name: Augustus Henry
Question: Is it right for a divorced man or woman to be married to someone else according to God’s commandment?

and

Name: Helix Moore
Question: Many people are saying adultery is the only acceptable reason for divorce, but I’m trying to show in the Bible other reasons such as child abuse, financial abuse, drug use, etc.

Answer: Thank you all for the questions.

On our wedding day, we stand before God and make a promise to Him and our spouse, to stay together, forever. God expects each of us to preserve our wedding vows, God hates divorce, (Ecclesiastes 5:5). Unfortunately, that is not always possible, and God understands that.

The reasons for divorce in the Bible are not actually black and white. In fact, there are only two clear-cut reasons for ending a marriage. They concern fornication and abandonment.

  • You can only divorce when fornication has occurred in marriage, (Matthew 5:32).
  • You can divorce when an “unbeliever” separates from the marriage, (1 Corinthians 7:15).

However, are there grounds for divorce outside of those two scenarios?

We know families can become broken due to alcohol, drugs, domestic violence, child abuse, and many other reasons. Are we to believe God wants us to stay in these toxic relationships?

  • Would God want you to stay with a drug addict?
  • Would God want you to stay with someone who beats you?
  • Would God want you to stay with someone who abuses your children?

While the Bible does not specifically answer those questions for us, I believe there are other Biblical reasons for divorce on these grounds. Yet, it takes careful observation to find them. We will discuss that, but first, we are going to walk through the verses that cover divorce.

Divorce In The Bible

In the Old Testament, if a man found any “uncleanness” in his wife, he could divorce her, (Deuteronomy 24:1). However, that changed with the advent of Jesus Christ.

Jesus On Divorce

In Matthew, we find the Pharisees questioning Jesus about divorce as it pertained to the Old Testament.

Let’s see what Jesus had to say.

Matthew 19:8
He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.

In Genesis 2:24, God said once a man and woman join together, “they shall be one flesh.” That’s why God is strongly against divorce, once we wed, we are one. That becomes actual when we have children.

Jesus continues.

Matthew 19:9
And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

Jesus only provided a single reason for divorce, in cases where “fornication” has occurred within the bounds of marriage. Even the Disciples had trouble with this saying, as they were accustomed to the Old Testament Law, (Matthew 19:10).

However, the word “fornication” does not necessarily mean a sexual encounter. In fact, “fornication” cannot only refer to a sexual encounter, otherwise, we have a contradiction in the Bible.

Let me show you what I mean.

1 Corinthians 7:15
But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

1 Corinthians 7 is all about marriage.

While Jesus said we can only divorce if “fornication” is the reason, we see there is more to the story. 1 Corinthians 7:15 states, if a Christian is married to an “unbeliever” who leaves the marriage, then the Christian is no longer bound to the marriage.

That’s far different than what Jesus described.

That means, we need to understand the meaning of the word “fornication” that Jesus used.

Defining Fornication

Fornication” means,

Harlotry (including adultery and incest); figuratively idolatry: – fornication.

As we can see, fornication does not only mean “harlotry,” but it can also refer to idolatry in the figurative sense. Not only does “idolatry” refer to the worshipping of idols, but possessing,

Extreme admiration, love, or reverence for something or someone.

That would be extreme admiration or love for “something or someone” other than your husband or wife. A spouse does not need to sleep with someone outside of marriage to commit fornication. They can commit fornication in a number of ways.

For some, they commit fornication with alcohol, drugs, their careers, and we could paint many other scenarios. Not to mention, physically or mentally abusing a spouse could potentially fit into this as well, as it’s showing more love and respect for yourself, than your own spouse. Your spouse, the one you are supposed to love as yourself, (Ephesians 5:28-29).

Now, this isn’t a stretch by any means.

Over and over, God chastised the Israelites for their rebellion against Him.

When God said to Israel,

  • “Thou hast also committed fornication with the Egyptians,” (Eze 16:26)
  • “Thou hast moreover multiplied thy fornication in the land of Canaan,” (Eze 16:29)
  • Jehoram “…caused the inhabitants of Jerusalem to commit fornication,” (2 Ch 21:11)

God was not talking about sex.

In each of those cases, God was talking about “idolatry,” (Colossians 3:5). God was saying the Israelites had become unfaithful to Him. Instead of loving God and serving Him, they cast Him aside, and replaced Him with the false gods of the surrounding nations.

In marriage, we can do the same thing to our spouses.

Let me show you another example.

When Jesus said,

  • “…to eat things sacrificed unto idols, and to commit fornication,” (Rev 2:14)
  • “…to teach and to seduce my servants to commit fornication,” (Rev 2:20)
  • “…I gave her space to repent of her fornication,” (Rev 2:21)

Jesus was not talking about sex.

In each of those cases, Jesus was speaking to the 7 churches of Revelation, five of which fell away from Him, forgetting their first love. Those five churches committed spiritual fornication against Jesus Christ.

That clearly tells us, “fornication” not only refers to sex outside of marriage, but it can also refer to “idolatry” which is possessing “extreme admiration, love, or reverence for something or someone” other than your spouse.

All right, I want to take another example from Scripture. We are going to discuss God’s own divorce of Israel. God Himself will provide us with a fantastic example of what constitutes divorce.

God Divorced Israel

Turn your Bible with me to,

Isaiah 54:5
For thy Maker is thine husband; the LORD of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called.

Our Heavenly Father is our spiritual husband, and God was the husband of the Israelites. Unfortunately, they continually rejected Him. The Israelites continually placed something else above God, especially false gods, this was in fact, spiritual fornication.

Malachi 2:11
Judah hath dealt treacherously, and an abomination is committed in Israel and in Jerusalem; for Judah hath profaned the holiness of the LORD which he loved, and hath married the daughter of a strange god.

God was not speaking of literal sex.

God was speaking of fornication in the sense of idolatry. The Israelites continually replaced God with the false gods in the land. Israel had spiritually disavowed their wedding agreement with God.

As we read the Old Testament, the Israelites would repent from their fornication and come crawling back to God when times got tough.

Over and over again, God would forgive Israel. He would bring her back into His arms and lift her up. Just about the time when things were looking good again, that’s when Israel fell away again. This went on for generation after generation, back and forth it went.

That is, until God finally had enough and divorced the Israelites.

Jeremiah 3:8
And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also.

Also: Isaiah 50:1

While God spiritually wed Israel, He finally divorced her for her repeated, continual, and abounding sins. The Israelites could not literally wed another god, but they could perform spiritual “adultery” by worshipping and serving the false gods of other nations.

The Israelites had committed spiritual fornication so often, you literally lose count as you read the Old Testament. This is a testament to how strong God’s love is for us, how forgiving He is, and how forgiving we should be.

God will continually forgive us and bring us back on the correct path, but ultimately that is our decision to make. We should take this example, and apply it to our marriages today.

God Hates Divorce

Now that we understand even God divorced the Israelites for their multitude of fornication against Him, I want to share with you how God feels about divorce.

Malachi 2:15-16
15 And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.

16 For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.

God hates divorce.

Instead, God wants men to treat their wives with love and respect, certainly not treachery.

All right, now that we understand:

  • “Fornication” doesn’t only refer to sex outside of marriage.
  • God divorced Israel.
  • and God hates divorce…

Let’s look at some other reasons for divorce.

Reasons For Divorce

Jesus already told us, divorce is permitted when fornication has taken place. We also know, if an unbeliever has left a marriage, the marriage can become null and void.

Let’s see what else Scripture reveals.

1 Timothy 5:8
But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

If a spouse refuses to take care of the family, then they have denied their own faith in Christ, and they are worse than a non-believer. In case there is any doubt, “infidel” means, “without Christian faith.”

That means, 1 Timothy 5:8 potentially provides a valid reason for divorce. In this case, the spouse has abandoned not only their faith, but their family, which means 1 Corinthians 7:15 applies.

Now let’s cover a concern Hope had.

Is A Woman Bound To Her Husband Til Death?

Romans 7:2
For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.

Also: 1 Corinthians 7:39

According to the law, a woman is bound to her husband until death. She (nor the man) cannot leave the marriage for frivolous reasons. Otherwise, she’s breaking God’s Law.

Romans 7:3
So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.

This verse leaves us with the impression, the only option for divorce is when the husband dies. However, we already know that’s not the case from what Jesus told us in Matthew 9:19.

In 1 Corinthians 7:10 we read, “Let not the wife depart from her husband.” However, look what we find in the next verse.

1 Corinthians 7:11
But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.

This clearly opens the door to divorce in some circumstances.

The wife should not depart from her husband, “But… if she depart, let her remain unmarried.” Moreover, look what else we learn just a few verses later.

“But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.”

1 Corinthians 7:15

As we can see, there are exceptions to the law we found in Romans 7:2-3 and 1 Corinthians 7:10-11. If your spouse is an unbeliever, or becomes one and leaves the marriage, then the marriage can become null and void. Then, as Jesus told us, if your spouse has committed fornication, the marriage can become null and void.

So always place Scripture in context, that way you can properly understand it.

Now, why do we even have the law found in 1 Corinthians 7:10-11?

Ephesians 5:23
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

By God’s design, the husband is supposed to lead his family.

If you recall in the Garden of Eden, Eve sinned first, but who did God call out to?

The man, Adam was supposed to lead his family, but he failed his family, and God wanted Adam to answer for it.

One more verse.

Ephesians 5:33
Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

A husband is supposed to lead his family, and he is supposed to love his wife as himself. Not to mention, the wife should “reverence her husband.” Now that right there helps us define a positive and Godly marriage!

Conclusion

We now know, the reasons for divorce include: an unbelieving spouse who leaves the marriage, a spouse who fails to take care of their family, and “fornication.” We also learned, fornication doesn’t just refer to sex outside of marriage, but when one spouse places “something or someone” above their own spouse.

For completeness, when Jesus spoke of “fornication” in Matthew 5:27-32, the context was of a sexual nature. However, when Jesus spoke of fornication in Matthew 19:1-10, Mark 10:1-12, and Luke 16:18, there was no context at all. So you will need to take this to God in prayer.

With that said, no one should be searching for Biblical reasons for divorce without trying to repair their marriage. Instead, we should always seek forgiveness, and ask God to restore our marriage, He can fix anything and anyone. Divorce is always a last resort, and it should only be considered when there is deliberate and continuous unrepentant sin taking place in the marriage.

Remember, Jesus said we are to forgive 7 times 70 in a single day. That simply means, we should always try to reconcile our problems with others, especially the one we swore: “til death due us part.”

/* *** Print tooltip */ #printfriendly .underline.web-tooltip.web-tooltip-top:after { content: ' (' attr(data-tooltip)')'; font-size: 70%; font-style: italic; color: #777; } /* *** Font body of document */ #printfriendly #pf-body, ol, ul, dl, li { font-family: Georgia, Arial, Tahoma; font-size: 14pt; } #printfriendly #pf-title { font-size: 18pt; font-family: Georgia, Arial, Tahoma; text-align: center; } /*dev*/ #printfriendly #pf-author { font-size: 9pt; font-family: Georgia, Arial, Tahoma; font-weight: bold; color: #888; text-align: center; } /* *** Style Table of Contents */ #printfriendly .elementor-toc__header, .elementor-toc__body { background-color:#f1f1f1; border-radius: 5px; padding: 15px; width: 75%; margin:auto; margin-bottom: 10px; display:none; } #printfriendly .elementor-toc__header-title { font-weight: bold; text-align: center; } #printfriendly h2 { font-size: 16pt; font-family: Georgia, Arial, Tahoma; text-align: center; } #printfriendly h3, h4, h5, h6 { font-size: 14pt; font-family: Georgia, Arial, Tahoma; text-align: center; } /*print link color, does not affect pdf*/ #printfriendly a, #printfriendly a:visited { color: blue; } /*remove reftagger link attributes, does not affect pdf*/ #printfriendly a.rtBibleRef, #printfriendly a.rtBibleRef a:visited { font-family: Georgia, Arial, Tahoma; color:#333; text-decoration: underline; text-decoration-color: transparent; } #printfriendly p, ul { font-size: 14pt; font-family: Georgia, Arial, Tahoma; } /*style blockquote font size*/ #printfriendly blockquote { font-size: 14pt; } #printfriendly img { border-radius: 3px; } /*favicon*/ #printfriendly #pf-src-url img { border-radius: 0px; } /*print in footer*/ #printfriendly #pf-print-area:after { content: 'Visit: worldeventsandthebible.com, © World Events and the Bible'; font-size: 10pt; color: #777; display: block; text-align: center; }