And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Ephesians 6:4
Being a parent can be pretty difficult for some of us. Not only do we have ourselves to care for, but a spouse, and those little human-type creatures they call, “kids”.
They can be a handful, can’t they?
Then if they start multiplying on you, you’re really in trouble!
Once you have them though, you’re stuck with them. It then becomes your duty and responsibility as a parent to take care of those kids and raise them properly. I remember the day when my oldest son was born, and we had to change that first diaper.
I was thinking,
“This is madness!
Where is the instruction manual?”
The nurse never did bring me one.
Thankfully, we do have some instructions for raising kids in the Bible. Today’s verse is one of those small hidden gems that help us lead our everyday life.
Children Listen To Your Parents
Actually, it pays to start reading with verse 1.
Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.
Ephesians 6:1
So that sets the standard for us.
Children, listen to your parent’s righteous instruction, it’s very pleasing to God. At the same time, parents have to be respectful themselves. That is why we have verse four.
So what does Ephesians 6:4 really mean?
Don’t Provoke The Kids
As parents, you never want to provoke your child to anger. You set those ground rules for the household, and you enforce them, but you never want to “provoke,” which even means “enrage” your kids.
You can do that through excessive punishment.
There are some people who don’t believe in spankings, I do.
Do you know why?
God does, that’s why, (Proverbs 13:24).
However, not every misdeed is worth a spanking. More importantly, a spanking is a spanking, it’s not a beating. A spanking is a controlled action. A beating is out of rage and anger. Beating a child is a horrible thing that would certainly provoke them to anger.
They will probably hate you for it. That right there means, you failed them and God in one fell swoop. So don’t do it. You will learn, there are many different forms of punishment, use those forms, and stay true to God.
Remember, the goal of Ephesians 6:4 is to what?
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Bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
How can you be an enraged lunatic, but display nurturing and admonition of God?
Verbal abuse is another great way to provoke your children to anger. It can destroy their self-esteem and personal complex. You have to learn how to express yourself, without discouraging your children.
Remember, they are little you’s.
Parenting Examples
I’ll tell you something. I am a disciplinarian.
Yet, that does not mean every little infraction deserves punishment. Being a veteran parent, I have learned to let the little stuff go at times. Yeah, they waded up the towels for the 10th time. Maybe I will say something the next time instead.
Sometimes I will even make jokes out of things.
“Boys, you didn’t do your hair and it’s 11 am, what’s the deal?
Do we need our wittow Momma to help you?”
They smile and say, “No, Daddy. I forgot, I’ll go do it.”
I might pipe back, “But you didn’t forget to eat!”
I am quite sure some of your eyes are bulging at the screen right now.
Our family dynamics are quite interesting, perhaps disturbing!
As I said, it was done as a joke, and we all smile and maybe even laugh as it plays out. At the same time, the boys know I am serious, and that if they mess up again, well then, it might not be all fun and jokes the next go-round.
Be Firm, But Not Overbearing
Just ensure, the punishment always fits the crime.
Sometimes, all you have to do is give them a look, and they know, “Uh, ohhh”.
Your takeaway, don’t turn every small matter into a big one. It is okay to let some things go sometimes. You can draw attention to it, without it being one of those moments no one enjoys.
You also don’t want to be lax or not hold to your word. By nature, kids will test boundaries. By being lax, it raises slothful children who will most likely turn into slothful adults. Just look at society today, you don’t want that for your kids.
You also want to remember, you are raising children who will grow up and have their own children one day. Every action you perform as a parent is embedded into their mind. They will then take that into adulthood and apply it to their own children.
- Are they going to take good things with them, or bad things?
- Are they going to remember they were raised in the “nurture and admonition of the Lord,” or something else?
Remember, God chastises those He loves, so we also should discipline our children, but properly, (Hebrews 12:6). Our ultimate goal is to raise respectable people who love God, and treat others how they would like to be treated, (Matthew 22:37-40).